Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Meanwhile Back At The Ranch...

The Lone Ranger is disguised as a wall... Tonto comes in and plasters his crack.

Do you ever have those days where you have what I call 'Stupididitties" running through your head all day, for no reason other than you are having a brain shrinkage day and they have room to run around?

Now brain shrinkage days are different than brain fart days. Brain fart days are just weird. P.E.R.I.O.D. Someone will ask you something and your mind just goes blank. You know the answer, but your mind goes blank and your face goes blank and whomever you're talking to can't decide whether to rap on your noggin with their knuckles to wake you up or to call 911 thinking you just had a stroke because they think you can't speak.

After about, mmm say, 17 false alarms, they finally get that your hard drive is stuck waiting for your ram to run to the hinterland of your brain to dig up an answer and they no longer have you hold out you arms, smile (to see if both sides of your mouth move) and speak, to see if anything other than drool comes out.

I, of course, am used to all the above because I have lived with me for 64 years. And a good portion of those years I've lived with 3 individuals, me, myself and I... and I like to be entertained, so me and myself have collected enough stupididitties and oddities to entertain the I of my life.

Now you do understand that when you've collected these nonsensical facts, fictions and jokes that there is little room left for much more than native intelligence. So sometimes when a person asks me a 'normal' question such as what did you have for dinner last night I have to stop and wait for the ram to pull the info out of the files and download it to my brain to vocalize it.

BUT (and a big but it is) if you asked me if I knew any Lone Ranger jokes I could pop of the above and more... such as the Lone Ranger was disguised as a pool table... Tonto comes in and racks his balls.

So if we ever meet, you may want to ask me a question about something 'normal', consider this...do you want to have to wait for a minute or two while my brain kicks in, or if you do not want to take that much time, then just ask me if I've heard any good knock-knock jokes, bawdy limericks, or downright tasteless dirty parrot jokes... and I'll pop something back at you...

Instantaneously.

70 comments:

  1. My pet photography class is cancelled, lack of students. That makes me soooo mad. But we still need to get together for the big shoot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think I'll go for the stupiditties, thank you very much. I LIKE conversing with someone I have something in common with!

    You and I would be fun at parties eh? And we could take turns hiding behind each other! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Let's hear some more Lone Ranger jokes, those were good!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hope you have some good jokes cuz I hate the Lone Ranger!!

    Hallie :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are you an Aquarian? I seriously thought you were talking about me!

    This is hillarious and I can so relate. Great post, Helen.

    Perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is hilarious and so true..for me too. I am much better at remembering what happened 10 years ago than I am what happened 10 minutes ago. I am also suffering from just add any word in... let them make sense of it. I could be talking about washing my clothes and insert lawm mower in for washing machine. I would be very concerned about this...but in a few minutes I won't even remember it so who cares..LOL (I see jojo might be having the same issues I am-rotflmfao) Great that you are able to be witty...witty always helps, we laugh with you and not at you...see how that helps :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Believe it or not, I completely can understand and relate to this post. Is that good or bad?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh I so relate!! I love this post!!!

    God Bless~
    Debbie Jean

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just a little Helen going on there!
    You are so funny and glad you liked my room. My little Jack Russell is so cute Helen! I am amazed just how cute she is and she isn't a schnauzer!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You made me smile! Thanks! Did you hear about the two fish who were swimming and one of them swam into a concrete wall? "Dam!" said the other one.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I want to meet you someday-and when I do I'll be sure to ask you if you know any limericks!

    ReplyDelete
  12. i dont have prieced ears anymore so someone dear will be gettin
    an awesome gift from on a regular basis.... Easily win
    that is lol

    Here is my web page: ,cheap earrings for sale

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm gone to convey my little brother, that he should also go to see this weblog on regular basis to obtain updated from hottest news.

    Visit my site: diets that work fast

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aww, thanks Neen!! Can't wait to begin sending you goodies inside post xx

    Check out my blog post :: ,Jewellery Discount Shop

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love what you guys tend to be up too. This kind of clever work and
    coverage! Keep up the awesome works guys I've added you guys to my blogroll.

    my web blog: http://www.donriver.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. nice details, adhere to these quickly put up Samsung ML-1210 printer driver, and nice operate.


    Also visit my blog post; xerox phaser 8560 toner

    ReplyDelete
  17. in search of work from home job that gives profit
    don't need to see loss at all
    may i realize the facts with this work process.

    Here is my web page; ,cheap earrings and rings

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hі, Neat post. There's a problem with your web site in internet explorer, would check this? IE still is the market chief and a large component of folks will leave out your excellent writing because of this problem. best green coffee bean capsules - pure green coffee Bean extract 800 mg Cvs - green coffee bean extract au

    ReplyDelete
  19. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to
    my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She placed the
    shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it
    pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell
    someone!

    Also visit my webpage xerox 8560 mfp

    ReplyDelete
  20. Top-notch article it's surely. My girlfriend has become searching for necessary .

    Look at my website :: silver jewellery for women

    ReplyDelete
  21. Trouble address with Samsung ML-1520 on WIN 8 Pro 64 bit.

    Thanks to you !!!!!!
    Superb !!!!!!

    Feel free to visit my page xerox phaser 8560dn

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love your blog!

    Also visit my webpage handmade silver jewellery

    ReplyDelete
  23. Love your blog!

    Feel free to visit my site handmade silver jewellery

    ReplyDelete
  24. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and
    find many of your post's to be precisely what I'm looking for.
    Would you offer guest writers to write content for you? I wouldn't mind publishing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome web log!

    my web blog :: xerox 8560 printer

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have a question on Avery Lables. I hase a few groups that
    are about 15 plus years old. Never used any type of.

    my web site - xerox phaser 8560 toner

    ReplyDelete
  26. I have a concern on Avery Lables. I hase a couple of packs
    that have to do with 15 plus years aged. Never
    ever used any.

    Also visit my web site: xerox phaser 8560 ram error

    ReplyDelete
  27. Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The overall look of
    your web site is great, let alone the content!

    Here is my web-site; xerox 8560 specs

    ReplyDelete
  28. First off I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question
    in which I'd like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing. I've had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas
    out. I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost
    just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or tips?

    Appreciate it!

    Also visit my site best uk domain name hosting

    ReplyDelete
  29. Very rapidly this website will be famous among all blogging viewers, due to it's fastidious posts

    Also visit my homepage :: Private cloud

    ReplyDelete
  30. Very descriptive blog, I loved that bit. Will there be a part 2?


    Also visit my webpage :: best web hosting for beginners uk

    ReplyDelete
  31. moment changes every http://www.christianlouboutincenter.co.uk/ they your type christian louboutin uk travelling, environments, made pure toms shoes outlet best from toms sale reviewer wrong cheap christian louboutin shoes could also are ensure also

    ReplyDelete
  32. supplements androids, of a important ghd sale instance ebook christian louboutin sneakers this functional http://www.ghdoutletcenter.co.uk/ in James http://www.ghd2.co.uk/ in men michael kors outlet online Once that way

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hello just ωаnted tο give уou a quick heads up.
    The wоrds in your aгtiсle ѕeem tο be running off thе
    sсrееn in Safаrі.
    ӏ'm not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I thought I'd pοѕt to let уou knoω.
    Тhe layоut lоoκ greаt
    though! Hоpe you get thе pгoblеm fiхeԁ
    ѕοon. Chеerѕ

    Also visit mу web-sіtе - free download hcg diet gourmet cookbook

    ReplyDelete
  34. Off seasons reasons some shoes may very well be[url=http://niketrainersuksale.webeden.co.uk]http://niketrainersuksale.webeden.co.uk[/url]
    temporarily do not be blessed an occasion to[url=http://tomscanadaoutlet.snappages.com]Toms Shoes Sale[/url]
    endure such shoes amazing[url=http://addnikecanadastore.snappages.com]Nike Shoes For Women[/url]
    becomingly shop-girl them favourable the[url=http://louboutintrainersuk.blog.co.uk]http://louboutintrainersuk.blog.co.uk[/url]
    pure tract in to avoid superfluous expense of shoes[url=http://salelouisvuittonuk.webeden.co.uk]Louis Vuitton Outlet[/url]

    If the insole is literally amoral, it could in any way require to manipulate a soft bracken and sea water gently scrub. Choose require to be noted that, do not use chemical cleaners cleaning, or they end result in the insole the cap of fabric off.[url=http://shoppradabagsuk.webeden.co.uk]Prada Handbags[/url]

    ReplyDelete
  35. Thanks in favor of sharing such a nice opinion, paragraph is nice, thats why i have read it entirely

    Feel free to visit my web blog: xerox 8560dn

    ReplyDelete
  36. sir, kindly send the video to my e-mail, its impressive.


    Stop by my blog: http://www.craftypour.com/holiday-homebrew-session/comment-page-176/

    ReplyDelete
  37. It really is a great idea, Ideal this mothers day developing!


    Also visit my webpage danon jewellery israel

    ReplyDelete
  38. yay for Brooke! love her photo shoot x

    Feel free to surf to my web-site - danon jewellery ltd

    ReplyDelete
  39. #4 is amazing!!

    My web page ... ,cheap earring for women

    ReplyDelete
  40. Those are so pretty, I really like adding sparkle

    Here is my website http://wiki.aimc.lv/index.php?title=lietot%c4%81Js:moshecta

    ReplyDelete
  41. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
    Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do
    it for you? Plz respond as I'm looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thank you

    Review my webpage; xerox phaser 8560 price

    ReplyDelete
  42. The Triple Band Enamelled Ring looks awesome

    My web page: communitygardeningportphillip.net

    ReplyDelete
  43. Ah, don't know how I missed that regarding the variation variety. Though the hilarious point is that the anonymous vehicle driver on the ML-1210 page is also version 3.01. Anyhow, I will update the article to make this a little additional clear.

    My web blog - xerox phaser 8560mfp driver

    ReplyDelete
  44. Magnificent goods from you, man. I have understand your
    stuff previous to and you're just extremely excellent. I actually like what you have acquired here, really like what you're
    saying and the way in which you say it. You make
    it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible.
    I can't wait to read much more from you. This is really a great web site.

    Also visit my site :: xerox 8560

    ReplyDelete
  45. We stumbled over here by a different page and thought I might check
    things out. I like what I see so now i'm following you. Look forward to going over your web page for a second time.

    Also visit my site; xerox 8560dn printer

    ReplyDelete
  46. Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be ok. I'm definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.


    Also visit my weblog xerox 8560 error codes

    ReplyDelete
  47. I'd say no. Within the first six months into a year after I got my ears pierced, the holes would shrink a little even though I left my earrrings out for two main or three hours. Overnight they'd practically close.
    Following the 6 week period, however, you could but some new, smaller earrings which
    may irritate you less.

    Also visit my page ... ,cheap earring online

    ReplyDelete
  48. Thanks ... partnered with my Lexmark E210 on Windows 8
    Pro.

    my site :: xerox phaser 8560 Ram Error

    ReplyDelete
  49. Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger,
    and I was curious about your situation; many of us have developed some nice practices and we are looking to
    trade methods with other folks, please shoot me an email if
    interested.

    Also visit my web page; pilgrim jewellery necklaces

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hi.
    Initially I received my ears pierced, I waited
    the 6 weeks, a tad longer even, then took them out and left
    them out overnight. The subsequent morning, they reckoned as the holes
    had closed over and yes it was very painful endeavoring to insert them in, thus
    couldn't do it. I then must hold back until the holes had healed to get them done again, this occassion I took them out for a couple hours after 6 weeks but organize them in instantly. I would suggest achieving this soon you can readily bring them inside and out. Now I could leave earrings out for weeks/months and the holes don't close.
    (My ears have been pierced for about 4 years now)

    Review my web site; stalkerfrance.com

    ReplyDelete
  51. I blog frequently and I really appreciate your information.
    The article has really peaked my interest. I will bookmark your
    website and keep checking for new details about once a week.
    I opted in for your Feed as well.

    My web page pilgrim jewellery uk online

    ReplyDelete
  52. Great weblog here! Additionally your website rather a lot up very fast!
    What host are you the use of? Can I get your affiliate hyperlink to your host?
    I want my website loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Here is my web site :: xerox 8560 error codes

    ReplyDelete
  53. Thanks much, Garnish! Sometimes with earrings honestly you will need to have tried them as being the outfit starter!
    What's more , it stirs up to the outfit process which most of us really go to town now and then.

    My blog :: ,buy cheap earrings online

    ReplyDelete
  54. I seriously covet diamonds and sapphire rings!!!!!

    my web site: facebookpeace.com

    ReplyDelete
  55. yay for Brooke! love her photo shoot x

    Also visit my weblog silver Jewellery sets

    ReplyDelete
  56. The earrings looks so trendy and wonderful the making of earrings really
    sounds good thanks for the beautiful share. Keep posting!



    my web-site ,jewellery discount store

    ReplyDelete
  57. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog
    and I'm impressed! Very useful info particularly the last part :) I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

    My blog post LG 42LS5600 sale ()

    ReplyDelete
  58. Ilike Hp laserJet Printers.

    Feel free to surf to my weblog xerox phaser 8560 review ()

    ReplyDelete
  59. Pls send me the 26 LED price & dealers name in KOLKATA , 21st of this month I'll be buying a SAMSUNG LED TV .

    Feel free to visit my web blog LG 42 inch LED TV (www.lg42ls5600.co.uk)

    ReplyDelete
  60. What's up, just wanted to tell you, I loved this post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

    Also visit my blog: LG 42LS5600 TV ()

    ReplyDelete
  61. Pls for your kindness send me the video clip hint of making pcb so simple.
    Many thanks.

    Here is my page: xerox phaser 8560 color printer [Www.mydealgarage.Com]

    ReplyDelete
  62. expecting a hasty reply.

    My website :: Silver Jewellery For Women

    ReplyDelete
  63. Es un gusto poder ayudarte, Randy. Suerte con tus estudios.


    Feel free to surf to my site; handmade silver jewellery

    ReplyDelete
  64. I am truly delighted to glance at this weblog posts which contains tons of useful information, thanks for providing these statistics.


    Review my web blog; hultquist Bracelets

    ReplyDelete
  65. magnificent post, very informative. I ponder why the opposite experts of this sector
    do not understand this. You must proceed your writing.
    I'm confident, you have a great readers' base already!



    My web page how to get rid of acne

    ReplyDelete
  66. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog
    and wished to say that I've really loved surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I am hoping you write once more very soon!

    Here is my webpage: xerox 8560 cartridges

    ReplyDelete
  67. I enjoy what you guys are up too. This kind of clever
    work and exposure! Keep up the fantastic works guys I've incorporated you guys to blogroll.

    Here is my page: pilgrim jewellery debenhams

    ReplyDelete
  68. want to affiliate physical products, then you'd want to probably work with
    Amazon or. From customer satisfaction to the importance of certain aspects of your company, this is a very
    versatile option to use in your online marketing questionnaires.
    A skilled SEO campaigner knows to ease out a complex site and
    re-structure it to suit real users as well as search engines.


    My weblog law offices, ,

    ReplyDelete

Go Ahead, Leave Me A Comment, Even If It's A 'Stinker'!